4 reasons why you are never satisfied

 

4 areas you are not satisfied with

In actual fact, it’s difficult for you to put your finger on exactly what it is that you’re not satisfied with in your life. You probably have a great job, a good partner and possibly some lovely children as well. If not, this is a choice that you have made. So, you ought to be happy and satisfied – but you’re not.

1. You are not satisfied with your working life

You have had various jobs and bosses, but it makes no difference. You still haven’t found your right niche, and you keep feeling that you’re not using your potential. But you don’t really know what you want to do instead of your current job.

2. You are not satisfied with what you have achieved

You are secretly envious of your friends who have progressed in their careers and reached their personal goals – professionally as well as privately. While you haven’t done any of this. Far from it. But what should your goals be?

3. You are not satisfied with your future

After all, it’ll just be more of the same – and you can’t bear that thought. You get bored often and quickly, both at work and in your private life. For how many more years is it going to stay that way?

4. You are generally dissatisfied – with yourself and/or others

You are generally dissatisfied and have a tendency to focus on all the flaws. You should be more dedicated, extroverted, active, persevering etc., or everyone else should be different in all sorts of ways, so that they wouldn’t be so annoying and get on your nerves so much. It’s just hopeless.

 

4 reasons why you are never satisfied

When you are not satisfied with the above, it may have something to do with the following:

1. You are unconsciously intelligent and/or have a broad/different intelligence compared to most people
2. You are affected by impostorism and constantly compare yourself to others
3. You are struggling with boreout – possibly combined with ADHD
4. You are generally dissatisfied and critically-minded

If you tick all the boxes here, life is definitely arduous and tough. But let’s go through one issue at a time and see what you can do about it yourself – and if there’s anything I can help you with.

 

1. You are dissatisfied with your work life because you are unconsciously intelligent

You have this simmering dissatisfaction because you haven’t found your niche yet and, on top of that, you don’t feel that you’re using your skills in the right way. Your potential is untapped.

You may be more intelligent than you think. It is relatively easy to find out, since there are various tests which can give you a clue and thereby make you more aware of that part of your potential.

Check for yourself:
Impedingly Intelligent? – self-evaluation of typical characteristics for the 10% most gifted
Mensa: IQ test – logical test with shapes

Apart from this, you can be gifted with different types of intelligence:

• Linguistic – large vocabulary and good comprehension, sense of grammar, an aptitude for learning other languages
• Mathematical-logical – ability to do arithmetic, think in abstract terms and perform logical analysis
• Visual-spatial – ability to navigate in two and three dimensions, read maps, illustrate and create models
• Bodily-kinaesthetic – good with your hands and body, e.g. at handiwork and sports
• Musical – ability to play an instrument, sing in tune and recognise different instruments

Are you using the broad range of your intelligence, or are there areas you are neglecting? Starting to use multiple aspects of your intelligence will automatically make you happier and give you more energy.

The more you use your intelligence, the better positioned you are to make good use of your potential – and thereby become more satisfied.

Evaluation of and feedback on the 7 intelligences/potentials are part of the job consultation and the start-up package.

 

2. You are dissatisfied with what you have achieved because you are affected by impostorism

An important part of impostorism is constant comparison with others – which always turns out to their advantage. They are smarter, more competent, better at this or that, more self-contained, have progressed in their careers and achieved all sorts of things which you haven’t.

Impostorism is linked to low self-esteem and/or low self-confidence. This means that you underestimate yourself and overestimate others. But the point here is that your self-perception is not realistic. You cannot see your own strengths, abilities or skills. If others point them out, you cannot accept this. You probably have the sense to know that you have done well enough, and yet you don’t think that it truly counts. After all, you’ve just been lucky most of the time – or very hard-working.

Check for yourself: The impostor test

In spite of that, here are three pieces of good news:

1. There is a name for what you have been struggling with behind closed doors
2. You are far from being the only one who feels this way
3. You can do something about it, and I have specialised in helping people like you who are affected by impostorism.

If you score 80+ in the impostor test, I recommend a development process.

 

3. You are dissatisfied with your future because you are bored

Well now. Let’s be honest: if you’re dissatisfied with your future because you’re bored and feel stuck, it’s an uphill struggle – not least every morning when you have to get out of bed. Because every day seems to be a boring repetition of the day before.

If you’ve felt this way for a long time, you may be affected by boreout or chronic boredom. The symptoms can be similar to stress, burnout or depression, and this can also affect your zest for life as well as your self-confidence.
Check for yourself: The Boreout Test

The longer this has been going on, the harder it can be to change because you’re stuck in a self-perpetuating negative spiral.

Here are two small measures for change which you can manage yourself:

• Before going to bed, decide on and plan one thing that you want to do tomorrow – so that you have at least something to get up for and look forward to.
• Write a list of boring things in your life and choose the one you most want to change – stay focused on this and do everything you possibly can to change it.

However, if you simply cannot deal with this or have no energy to do anything at all, you really must talk to your GP. There is no reason why you should be suffering if there may be a diagnosis involved. For example, if you have depression or ADHD, it will be too much of an uphill struggle without getting professional help.

 

4. You are generally dissatisfied because of your personality

In the personality test, dissatisfaction is expressed as:

• Low score for evaluating positively – you are critical of both yourself and others
• Low score for expressed positivity – you cannot help pointing out mistakes and shortcomings
• Low score for constructive attitude – your trust in others and in your ability to work together is weak or non-existent
• Low score for optimism – you actually have quite a pessimistic outlook on life if you’re being honest
• Low score for emotional processing – you are stuck on mistakes of the past and worry about (more or less) likely repetitions in future.

This may be reinforced by:

• High score for visionary – so you can see how amazing everything would be if only…
• Low score for planning – you don’t get around to putting the things you actually need to do into your calendar, so nothing really happens…
• Low score for perseverance – you quickly lose interest and can’t be bothered to carry on when the going gets tough
• Low score for mood stability – your mood changes quite a lot, and on bad days it is absolutely terrible!

Personality is difficult to change, and even small adjustments may take time and require persistent effort. In many cases, it will be easier to accept yourself just the way you are – instead of trying to change.

With regard to other people: forget it! You cannot change them, no matter how much you shout, scold or blame them or whatever it is you might do. But you can leave them in peace. Accept that they are not like you. And choose instead to put your energy into something that gives you a boost and makes you happy.

If you recognise any of the above, you might benefit from increased self-understanding.

 

• The three biggest mistakes unconsciously intelligent people make
• 4 differences between having a high IQ and a normal IQ